Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Three years later...

It has been a good three years since I last posted on here. Shocker. Some things have changed since I last posted on here, but so much has stayed the same. I can't keep a journal going on a regular basis, much less a blog. But that's okay. I'm learning that some things stay as they are only for a season. I don't know whether that is more difficult to see in a season of hardship or a season of peace and restoration. I am still patching up my wounds from the last season - one of incredible hardship - but I am slowly seeing restoration take place. In the place of wounds comes peace. Given everything that transpired in that season of hardship it is evident to me that it is only through the power of God that I am not still aching.
There is absolutely nothing I could have predicted about this year in New York when I made the decision on April 1, 2015 to move here. Nothing. I have been challenged spiritually, mentally, and emotionally in ways I never could have imagined. In some ways it is honestly a miracle that I am sitting here in my 650 sq. ft. apartment in downtown Manhattan writing this. I'm still dealing with growing pains of course. Who would have thought I would ever buy a planner? Or plan to get a tattoo? (If I don't chicken out, that is) Or go to church by myself? I am starting to notice the pieces in me that New York and the wonderful people in it are molding.

Thoughts for the week:
One of my professors tells us before every quiz that we shouldn't sacrifice our integrity for a quiz point. It's a pretty great way to tell us not to cheat. He emphasizes that our integrity is worth more than a grade. It has gotten me thinking what else is worth more than a grade. Another professor told my class not to kill ourselves to get a 4.0 GPA. I am here for school and I want to do well, but if getting an A requires me to sacrifice that which makes me flourish than is it worth it?

My school has a worship night every two weeks where a faculty member usually speaks. This week the professor spoke about prayer. He said that we shouldn't think of prayer just as a way to ask/tell God things, but that prayer is often a reminder to ourselves that we are not in control as we lay down our problems at the foot of the throne of God. He also said that since God is sovereign he already knows what is heavy on our hearts and sometimes he answers prayers before we even pray.